Our first appointment & a picture of Baby Mills

Yesterday we had our first appointment with the birthmother whom we will call "V". It was amazing, odd, but amazing nonetheless. The last ultrasound Robert & I were at was our own. We saw Eve but her heart had already stopped two days before the ultrasound.

This was a big deal. We were nervous (obviously) and both praying that the baby's heart would be beating. It sounded like static (says the women with hearing aids), but it was definitely there. It was incredible to hear and see the baby, our baby. It was odd in the fact that there were 6 of us in the room. V, Sue (our agent), Robert, myself, the technician, and the Dr. What was so precious is that V was watching our reactions to the ultrasound & to the heartbeat. She told us the other day that "Your baby loves pickles". V also loves the fact that we call the baby "peanut". It's also odd because this baby is not in my body, yet that doesn't matter. It used to, but not anymore. This child is no less my child then one I carry biologically. It's still a little weird to be showing people a picture of another woman's uterus.

Now, you may be thinking to yourself that "We should be careful... don't call it your baby until the paperwork is signed... emotionally protect yourself". Think about it from V's perspective. Would you want the adoptive family to be excited or hesitant, emotionally distant until you sign the paperwork (after the baby is born in June)? Would you want the adoptive parents to come to every appointment with that mentality? If I were the birthmother, I would seriously have second thoughts about the adoption.

Think about it from our perspective as well. We have had three miscarriages & a failed adoption. We are keenly aware of emotionally what is at stake here. There are two choices, either we trust the Lord or we don't. He has called us to pursue this match and we must trust Him regardless of the outcome. We have an incredible opportunity to show V and her family God's love and purpose of adoption. But how can we if we are hesitant to love V, her family, or this baby?

It was an incredible experience yesterday. Here is the picture of our little pickle liking peanut. The arrow in the picture is not in the actual uterus ;).

Side note: We will be taking orders for sugar scrubs starting next week in time for the holidays. We will also be announcing our surprise fundraising project (also in time for the holiday's) in a couple of days.

As always, we are so grateful for you all. Words do not express our deep gratitude towards you all.