A new challenge

The last few weeks have been interesting in our household. Over Thanksgiving both Robert & I were really sick (the fabulous stomach virus). So, we spent Thanksgiving and a few more days sick in bed. Although we did catch up on the latest episodes of Restaurant Impossible & Chopped.

This holiday season has also been a challenging emotionally for me. There is something about the holiday's that makes me miss our kids even more (even the one we were not able to adopt). The grief is a little more profound this time of year.

What's so complicated is that somehow all the sadness is clouding out the excitement of our expectancy. We are in the process of adopting a precious baby. There is a part of me that is so afraid of another failed adoption, yet every time we are with the birthgiver & family God continues to give numerous confirmations that they are determined to place this child with us. The family has experienced adoption before & they understand very clearly what is going on here. This is very real to them.

There is a part of me that thinks most people are expecting this adoption to fail. I feel like I'm constantly having to assure others that this is the right choice. A part of me is so hesitant to have a baby shower because I think people are thinking "Oh, that's dumb... She should wait until she knows for sure she has the baby". But this is no different then if I were pregnant. There are no guarantees, but rather we go forward in faith whether in pregnancy or in adoption. I care too much about what others might be thinking & am allowing that to be my truth instead of what God thinks.

So, this is the battle... To think on what is True, to live in the Known. What we know is that God has without a doubt called us to pursue adoption. We know that adoption is precious to God's heart. Did you know that Jesus was adopted? Joseph was Jesus' earthly father. There were no biological ties between them. Yet, Joseph was given this awesome responsibility of raising this child. Fast forward 33 years, Jesus died so that we could be adopted into His family. Those who confess that Jesus alone is Lord, that He alone is where our salvation lies become co-heirs with him. We become part of His family. The truth is, God has called us to adoption because He has adopted us. If we spent the rest of our lives trying to live out His picture of how He has adopted us then that is worth all of this heartache and pain.   

In order to combat all these crazy thoughts, I need your help. Hebrews 13:15 states "Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name". God desires our heartfelt worship by offering a sacrifice of thanksgiving. Perhaps the sacrifice is in the fact that we by nature are complainers. I am by nature a complainer.

Ann Voskamp wrote a book called "One Thousand Gifts". My friend Melanie & I read it together last year. With the exception of certain chapters (skip 6 and 11) and some of her crazy weird writing, the principles of the book are really good. She basically says that we need to write down little ways that we are thankful to God. If we are daily looking for these things (for example, a cup of coffee) we are actively looking for ways God is at work. We are preparing our hearts for thankfulness in the big things. Believe you me, God is at work in a cup of coffee (it's such an enjoyable beverage!). The Israelites built monuments to remind them of God's work. This is a modern way of doing the same thing.

1) My goal: to write 1,000 ways I'm thankful.
2) Your challenge: keep me accountable to write 7 a day until I reach 1,000. If I don't post call me out publicly on it (nicely please). :)
3) Do this with me. My prayer is that at least one of you will take me up on this challenge.

Hopefully by today we will have a separate tab for the list.

As always, thank you for listening and for your prayers.

Darbi