This past week has been a somber reminder of my own morality. We have been indirectly affected by three deaths that were all sudden and unexpected. Each time I've thought "That could've been me, (my husband, family, friends, etc) ". We live in a sin laden world and honestly at times I'm overwhelmed by the amount of death and suffering that have surrounded my family and friends this past year. There have been times where I just want to crawl underneath my couch (like my dog does) and wait for the coming of the Lord.
Where is my hope? God is constantly reminding me that He is my hope. My hope for eternal life (which is even more real to me through our suffering), and my hope for endurance through this life. Everyday I am forced to see my life through a different set of lenses as suffering and grief make life different. I love my savior more dearly everyday because he has not forgotten me in my suffering but instead has given me Himself and keeps me close to him. He alone has strengthened me.
Many of you may not know this. I was on anti-depressants for about 4 years. The Dr. told me that I would have to be on it for the rest of my life. As of January we will celebrate my third year off the anti-depressants. Ironically my life and trials have become so much harder and medically speaking there is no good explanation for why I am not back on it. But, God truly sustains me.
I do highly recommend listening to a sermon by John Piper entitled "Where is God?" as this has really helped both Robert and my perspective of our trials.
http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/conference-messages/where-is-god-ucf/download/audio/full
Love,
Darbi
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