Just to help you remember...

One of the interesting things about humans is after we learn a lesson, we often have to learn it again. For example, let's say you were adopting and needed to raise funds to afford it, and God keeps showing His power to provide (it's all His money anyway, right?). Despite this, it's not hard for doubts to enter our sinful minds. Besides, the baby could be born any day, and there is still a need for $2400. It's not that we don't believe God will provide. It's just very easy to start doubting when the obstacles are bigger than we are.

Thankfully, God is patient. He continues to gently remind us to trust Him. This morning, we received a pledge for $500, bringing our total to $5110. That leaves only $1890 remaining. Praise the Lord for His goodness!

But then God basically said, "Just to help you remember I am taking care of this for you, I'm going to provide even further." A little later this morning, we found out that someone has anonymously pledged to match all further donations, dollar for dollar, until we reach our $7000 goal. With $1890 remaining, we need only $945 to be donated to reach our goal! Again, the Lord is good.

We don't know who the anonymous donor is, but we thank God for their generosity. Also, thank you to everyone who has donated, bought tshirts, given up your time, and, most importantly, prayed. The most important thing that could happen during this process is God being glorified. You all are a testament to God's goodness through you, which is most definately glorifying to Him.

God is bigger...

My husband thinks I am a tad neurotic. :) In the morning as soon as my eyes open, I am pretty much awake. It's like hitting the ground running, at least mentally that is. It's 6:00 and this couldn't wait.

The past week has been challenging to say the least. Good challenges and difficult ones. We will keep you in suspense a little longer on how God has been revealing Himself through these circumstances. :)

It's like we are on the edge of something huge... God is using us in ways that we could have never imagined. I've been able to openly talk about my struggles carrying a pregnancy to term, been able to counsel and encourage (which is such a blessing), and seen God moving people in a way that leaves me speechless. This adoption is so much bigger than either one of us and we marvel at the fact that we get to watch it.

I don't even know where to start... A few weeks ago I had written a blog that described the desert. And for the better part of two years, that has been the journey. Now, looking back the I can see that God has (as He always is) been true to His word in Psalm 23.

"The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

What I perceived to be the desert, was where God was making me lie down in green pastures; where he was leading me besides quiet waters, it was because I desperately need to hear His voice. He was making me more dependent on Him. Oh, there were the dark valleys of dealing with the deaths of three miscarriages too. But, He was there... And, what is so crazy is that the miscarriages have everything to do with this adoption. He is teaching us that this adoption is truly His. But even more so, it is teaching us how adoption reflects our adoption as children of God (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6jO7xhU_Pw). This is what this is all about. This is why we adopt, because there is no better way to show the Father's love that He has for us.

We aren't adopting because simply because we want kids... In 8 days, I will be medically cleared to "try" to conceive naturally and the Dr.'s say medically I should be able to carry to term. We are approaching the end of our one year wait. Why are we adopting? Because He has adopted us into His family. Adoption is a beautiful reflection of our Father's love for us!!!

Romans 8:15
"For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!"

We are still raising money to bring Talitha home (and have great t-shirts for sale)... We know that He will provide. He has moved mountains and we have a financial mountain that He will move. We are amazed and daily you all humble us with your generosity! And, we are amazed at the God we serve.

Facebook a Thon

In addition to being placed, we are in the midst of redoing our house so that we actually have a nursery (I don't think a bike store's well with all the baby stuff)... We are in the midst of raising some of the funds we need to bring Talitha home. I promise to write more details later about how God orchestrated this, but that will have to wait for another day! :)

It's ok to cry...

I admit it... I've been putting off posting something... I wasn't entirely sure what to write about.

Today was a child dedication day at church. I came in, saw it listed on the church bulletin, and then immediately left. Had any of our children lived this would've been their dedication. It has been 11 months since the last miscarriage. For the most part I have resumed normal activities, but there are times when the pain hits. It feels as though your heart is being held together by stitches and then a giant solder rips right through to the wound that has yet to heal. It isn't hitting as frequently though.

These are the times that my prayers are the most earnest. This is the time when in my weakest moments that God is holding me so close, and there is no doubt in my mind that He is who He says He is. And, it is ok that it hurts. Time after time people have told me to look forward to when we have kids instead of dwelling on the pain now, but it isn't that simple. A mother cannot forget a child she has carried, nor should she. Everyone deals with grief differently. It is ok to cry. There is no time table on grieving. It is through this pain that God is revealing Himself to me in a way that would have been impossible otherwise.

I am not writing this for myself... I am writing this to the woman out there reading this who feels alone... I don't know who you are or when you will read this, but my heart is with you. You aren't alone. God is with you so sovereignly over this situation, He loves you infinitely more than you can imagine. Somehow this glorifies Him. The broken pieces of our lives are made whole by Him. Our children are in the presence of the most High, the God who is worth everything.

So, with that I would like to announce that I am launching a Facebook group for women who have had miscarriages (infertility will eventually be addressed on a separate group page as there are different issues involved. If you are interested in leading that group please let me know). There are times when a conventional Bible Study has a difficult time dealing with these issues. Let me know if you are interested in joining this study.

As hard as this year has been I can't imagine where or who we would be if it hadn't happened. Your support has been such a blessing.

Quick adoption update: We had our homestudy interview. We are just waiting on some paperwork to clear (probably government)... We are waiting on placement. We have started preparing the nursery (which is more emotionally challenging than I thought). We have been blessed with more funds for the adoption. Besides the $1,000 donated to cover the homestudy, we have had a $500 donation, and someone else sent us money recently. We have also been blessed with the finances to buy the crib. Thank you all for being such faithful brother's and sister's in our Lord. You humble us with your generosity. We are preparing to bring our baby home (if you want to help paint the nursery, just let me know)! :)