What's in a name?

A little while back, I promised to make a post about the names of our three children. It's taken me longer than I wanted to get to writing this, but here it is.

Very shortly after our first miscarriage, Darbi told me she wanted to name our child. However, I didn't take much interest in it at all. I was in denial, plain and simple. For me, to name our child was to legitimize the loss of our child...in other words, it would be real to me. I was certainly grieving, but it didn't take me long to compartmentalize my emotions. This is something God is still working on in my life. Anyway, Darbi named our first (and second) child. We had discussed names before, but these children's names were given based upon God's work in our lives at the time. And Darbi picked the perfect names for our children, for they express very well what God did and continues to do.

So, Darbi named our first child Peter. Darbi talked about Peter's name a few posts ago, but it's worth repeating. The name Peter means Rock. This isn't the kind of rock you pick up and throw. It's a boulder. A massive, unmovable boulder. This name points to God's steadfastness. When all of life is turbulent and unsteady, God is the foundation that doesn't move. When it seems that everything has been stripped away, God still stands firm. He supports us. His love, comfort, peace, and compassion do not change. After Peter went to be with our Savior, God gave us a much deeper understanding of who He is as the Rock. We didn't make Him our foundation...He made Himself our foundation.

Our second child, again named by Darbi, was Faith. While God has certainly increased our faith throughout all of this, I believe it was after Faith's death that God really focused on our faith directly. I remember Darbi and I having many conversations during this time which focused on trusting God. He taught us to trust, plain and simple...if that can be called simple. Learning to leave behind our selfish desires to depend on ourselves and trust God alone is hard. In our sin, we often turn back to our own strength, which always fails. But God was faithful to us, and taught us to have faith in Him. What God started in Peter's passing, He continued in Faith's. We must have faith in the steadfast Rock. All earthly things must fade, and God must take preeminence in our lives.

Then came our third child. God took her home, and in doing so, He pierced my hard heart and open the door to the emotions and questions I had locked away. For the next few days, a battle raged in my heart. I wanted to lock away the pain. God wanted to give me true peace, but it required dealing with the pain. God won. May He be praised for His grace for a stubborn sinner like me.

When the time came to name our third child, God had taught me how important this was. Darbi and I decided to name her Eve. Eve means "to breathe" or "to live." One of the greatest comforts for Darbi and I is the fact that our children are very much alive. And not just alive, but with our Father in Heaven. They know joy and peace in a way we can't comprehend. They worship Him without distractions or sin. They didn't have to endure the pain of living in a sin filled world, but instead have perfect fellowship with our Savior. Peter, Faith, and Eve are together in Heaven, perfectly praising our Lord. Eve's name is a testimony to the grace of God that has given them this life.

We praise God for taking our children to live with Him, but we still miss them, and we always will while we endure here on Earth. They lived and died to accomplish God's work. Although their earthly lives were only measured in weeks, God has done an eternal work through them. One day, we'll get to meet our children for the first time. Just the thought of this stirs my heart and soul. To meet both my Savior and children is a gift I will treasure and enjoy forever. Yes, to meet my Savior is a much greater joy, but that does not diminish the joy of meeting the children God gave us. Praise to the Lord, who gives such gifts of joy.